Getting help

Documenting evidence safely

Keeping a record – dates, what happened, how it made you feel – can matter significantly later, whether for a criminal report, a civil order, or a Court of Protection application. Where possible, this should be done somewhere the other person can't access it, such as a notes app with a decoy name, an email account they don't know about, or with a trusted friend holding copies. Safety always comes first: if keeping a written record would increase risk, it's reasonable to wait.

Reporting to the police

Reporting coercive control to the police starts an investigation, not an immediate arrest or prosecution. Officers will gather evidence, which may include messages, financial records, and witness accounts, before deciding whether to refer the case onward. It can feel slow, and not every report leads to a charge, but a report also creates an official record that can matter even if it doesn't result in prosecution at the time.

 The Crown Prosecution Service says that the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour, and other prosecutions related to domestic abuse, should be addressed within the overall framework of violence against women and girls’ (VAWG) and human rights.

The patterns and dynamics involved in these cases need to be understood in order to provide an appropriate and effective response. Though most victims of VAWG offences are women, the CPS recognises that some offenders will be women, non-binary or identify in a different way and some victims will be men, non-binary or identify in a different way.

It emphasises the importance of identifying the crime of coercive and controlling behaviour, even when other crimes are being investigated: see its prosecution guidance.

Reporting to social services

 Anyone can report a concern to adult social care or safeguarding team at the local authority (the Council) where the person lives, usually through its website or phone line. Say what you’ve seen, with dates and examples if you have them, and the person’s name and address if you know them. You can ask to stay anonymous, though that can limit follow-up.

 You don’t need proof. The Council decides whether to look into it. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.

Supporting someone you’re worried about

 The most useful thing you can usually do is keep the door open without pushing. Avoid ultimatums (“Leave them or I'm done helping!”), because these often replicate the same control the person is already experiencing, just from a different direction. Instead, tell the person you’re worried, that you believe them, and that you'll be there whenever they're ready, however long that takes.

Helplines and support services

If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

Below are UK-based helplines and services for victims of coercive control, each with a phone number or website.

  • National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) | 0808 2000 247 | www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk. It offers 24-hour phone support for women and children experiencing domestic abuse, staffed by female advisers.

  • Hourglass | 0808 808 8141 | www.wearehourglass.org. It provides a helpline, text line, chat service and information for older people who have experienced abuse, and for those concerned about an older person.

  • Age UK Advice Line | 0800 678 1602 | www.ageuk.org.uk. It offers free advice and information to older people.

  • Men’s Advice Line (Respect) | 0808 801 0327 | www.mensadviceline.org.uk. It gives non-judgemental information and support to men experiencing domestic abuse.

  • Galop | 0800 999 5428 | www.galop.org.uk. It runs the National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline, with support and advice for LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse.

  • Karma Nirvana | 0800 5999 247 | www.karmanirvana.org.uk. It works to end honour-based abuse in the UK, and its helpline offers emotional support and signposting.

  • Surviving Economic Abuse / Money Advice Plus | 0808 196 8845 | www.survivingeconomicabuse.org. The financial support line gives specialist advice to people experiencing domestic abuse who are in financial difficulty.

  • National Stalking Helpline (Suzy Lamplugh Trust) | 0808 802 0300 | www.suzylamplugh.org. It offers advice for victims of stalking.

  • Mencap | www.mencap.org.uk. It provides information and advice for people with a learning disability, their families and carers, including an email helpline.

  • Revenge Porn Helpline | 0345 6000 459. It supports people affected by intimate image abuse.

If you need legal advice, see the legal advice page.